There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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