Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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