i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
