does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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