The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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