Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize