I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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