i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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