I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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