he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
