Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
