Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
