in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I smell like Dick and happiness
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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