Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
