im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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