So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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