Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
