you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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