If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize