Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Dignity is for republicans.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
