dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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