Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
