Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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