The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
