Sponge bath it is.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
