Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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