Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
