i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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