im so drunk with asians
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
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I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.