Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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