in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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