I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
