In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
