I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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