Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better