Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog

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(949): View more from California

while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving

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(907): View more from Alaska

Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.

(1-907): View more from Alaska

Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..

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(604): View more from British Columbia

mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

it was like getting a handjob from robocop

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(812): View more from Indiana

Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...

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(815): View more from Illinois

He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

I know but these gold fish are so much better

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