How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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