I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
