I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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