I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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