Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
