Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
