I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
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I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
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No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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