listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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