I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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