Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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