Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
sarcasm needs its own font
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
