Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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