Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
