I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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