I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
