She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
