we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
