I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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