I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize