There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
