you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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