sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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