Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
