My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
