Banned from zoo.
Again?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize