I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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