Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
