We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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